Sometimes you realise you don’t want something as much as you thought you did. And that’s ok.

Coffee, a doughnut, and a book in bed

There are only so many times you can jump right back up after you get knocked down before it takes you a little longer to get back up, and you begin to wonder whether you still want it. 

During the past few weeks, some things have happened which have made me stop and think about whether I want to continue doing them. Yes, that’s all very vague. 

I’m somewhere between a realist and an optimist; I always try to bounce back and get on with something, but after so many knock backs I start to question the point and try to evaluate whether or not I’ll get the result I’m looking for. 

I’ve been a bit ‘meh’ in general for the past few weeks, but I feel like you sometimes need that.

Sometimes you need to evaluate how much you want something. It’s easy to keep working towards something and slowly begin to lose interest, and you don’t realise that you actually don’t want it / want to do it anymore. We’ve all got to pay our dues, but when the fun is no longer there, it’s time to turn your focus elsewhere. 

And sometimes, you realise how much you want something and you’re invigorated and ready to keep on battling. 

And I feel like, for me, I have to wallow in self-pity a little to figure out whether I’m ready to call it quits, or keep soldiering on. 

If you realise that you don’t want something as much as you did before, it’s ok. It can be hard to admit that you’ve ‘given up’ on chasing a dream, but are you really giving up if your priorities or interests changed? It still feels a bit awkward, especially if family and friends ask about it, but life is to short to do something you don’t want to do anymore. There’s no point kidding yourself. 

It’s easy to think that your life revolves around something, when perhaps it actually doesn’t. Or maybe your priorities and interests have shifted. And taking time out from it and focusing on doing things that actually make you happy can teach you that, and give you a lot of clarity. 

I don’t think it does any harm to have a little downtime either. We’re all taught that we should work non-stop to get what we want, and I’m not saying we shouldn’t work hard, but I don’t think the amount of hours we’re putting in is a measure of how good we are, it just leads to burnout. 

I’m slowly getting back up and, in a way, I’m grateful for being knocked down because it’s taught me a couple of things. Silver linings an’ all? 

Have you ever realised you don’t want something as much as you thought you did? 

 

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  • That actually happened to me, both with my University studies and my blog, but then (in both cases) I ended up realizing I really wanted them, just like when I start. My really big problem is ‘comparison trap’, some days I’d like to be a bookstagrammer, some days a geek blogger, some days I just want to rock instagram… 🙂

    • I completely understand what you mean about the comparison trap. It’s so easy to compare yourself to others, and feel envious.

      I went to university for a year and a half to study forensic science before realising that while I loved the subject, I didn’t want to do it as a job. I left over 3 years ago, and I have no regrets, but it still was a hard decision to make.

      • Yeah, it took me ages to finish University, I had a very hard time. While archaeology was my passion, I hate the way they taught it and the management in geral was a nightmare. Hope to enjoy the master degree more 🙁

  • I can absolutely relate to this, especially right now, so thank you for those inspiring and positive words! I’m glad to hear you’re getting back up. We all go through this at some point or another, and it’s always comforting to see we’re not alone.

    • I completely agree with you Charlotte, especially in the ‘age of the internet’. We compare ourselves to someone elses best bits, and forget that they might be going through the same thing.

  • I can so relate to this! I like the way you’ve mentioned about priorities changing – I think that’s such a big thing and really is a reason to re-evaluate what you’re doing. This is a really inspiring post and I hope you figure out what you’d love to do!

    Rachael at broomfie.blogspot.com

    • Thanks Rachael, I really appreciate it. It’s easy to continue doing something because you loved it 5 years ago, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to love doing something forever.

  • I can relate too, there have been multiple shifts in my life when I have realised that something just doesn’t matter to me as much anymore. I believe that, in part, this has been a developmental process for me and that my priorities shift at various stages in my life. Right now it is all about babies and houses, but I know that at some point that might shift again. Good luck with it all!

    • That’s a really good way to look at it, as a development process. Thank you for that, I’d never really thought about it like that.

  • danniella josephine

    Hope you are ok lovely 🙂 I’m the same – I’ve planned out so many careers and I never stuck to them. I’ve now gone back to my childhood dream of being an author! It’s hard, but I’m pushing myself to give it a go and not be afraid to try 🙂

    Dannie x

    • Thanks Dannie, it’s hard to know what you want to be when you ‘grow up’. There are so many jobs I like the sound of, and would find interesting.

      Same here. Over the past few months all these stories are building up inside me, and I need to get some of them out.

  • I felt a former passion of mine melt away, and I decided to let it and not fight the process. I have new purpose and loves now, and I am sure that I will grow and develop these and other new ones as the years go by.

    Take whatever time you need Rosie. But as you say, life’s not for doing the things we don’t enjoy any more.

    • Thanks, Llinos. It’s hard to recognise that you don’t enjoy something as much as it used to. When it becomes a chore, or you don’t look forward to it, it’s time to move on.

  • Cat

    I think it’s always okay (and even healthy) to constantly be reassessing your life and goals. What you thought you wanted to be when you grew up yesterday is not necessarily what you want to be tomorrow, because every day we are growing and our circumstances are changing. It’s surprising how much strength is required to let go of something you used to have your heart set on, though. I’m glad to hear you’re powering, through <3

    Cat
    http://oddlylovely.com

    • That’s some great advice Cat, thank you. It is, I guess it’s a little like a break up in that sense. Nostalgia for the good times can make you hesitate, and second guess yourself.

  • I think we all have moments like this. The things that were important to me ten years ago – not so much now because of everything else that’s occurred. But you learn along the way 🙂

  • Yes! I really wanted to monetize my blog and for a few months I was and it was going great but it just got to be so stressful and not very fun anymore. That’s when I knew I had to just give up that idea. Now blogging is fun again and I love it 🙂

    Jessica
    Pyreflies.org

    • I’m so glad you returned to blogging Jessica.
      Yeah, it’s especially hard to try and make money from something you enjoy because sometimes it can ruin it. My Nan is an excellent cook and baker, and when I was little I asked her why she didn’t bake for a living and she said that it would take all the fun out of it. I didn’t understand it then, but I do now.

  • Are you sure you haven’t been hacking into my brain to write this post?!
    This has very much been me over the last few months and especially the last two weeks – I decided to take a few days off work last week as I was feeling pretty burnt out with everything and I spent some time on my own and with family just enjoying being relaxed and I had time to think. I had always harboured a dream of going travelling and maybe living in another country for a year. But I was offered this option to go with a friend next year and after a lot of thought I realised it’s just not for me. I don’t want to live in a hostel, I love comfort, I don’t want to be surrounded by people who are probably half my age and want to spent all night drinking and more to the point – I want to buy my own house and I realised that nothing will get that goal achieved other than a bloody lot of hard work and saving – so here goes on building on the dreams I do want and leaving the ones I don’t behind – with no guilt over not wanting it enough! Everyone is different!

    I hope you get back on track with what you want and what really makes me happy 🙂
    x

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  • Hi lovely, I hope your okay!
    I often give up on things and beat myself up about it but it has made me happier and in a better place in the long run!
    Follow your heart <3

    • Thank you, Hannah. There’s little point doing something if it doesn’t make you happy anymore.

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